"Simpsons Episodes for Breakfast, Day 13" by Carson Nevada


is my perception of my own gender tied to my own perception of emptiness? there is a small
hole somewhere in my body where things fall out. if i let my womanness fall out and my timelessness seal the hole will that work? does letting go of how i am tied to time sever how i
am tied to gender? i want to try finding the hole but i also want to stockpile frozen breakfast sandwiches in my room and maybe acid so i don’t have to leave and that costs money and i
have to figure out what i can prioritize.

why didn’t lisa simpson go to college early? actually it’s good she didn’t. not that i wish i didn’t go, but that i didn’t learn how to fold into myself like this. my therapist said i looked little this afternoon and i thought she meant age wise as i was wearing yellow linen pants

                                      

                                    and i looked like a child

                                    and i go to the only college for children

                                    and i have lost maybe almost 20 pounds

                                    and i look like a child

                                    and i look like a child

                                    and i look like a child

and i want to be carson nevada. alternatively i want to move to carson city and change my
name to nevada. i want to fill myself up until i’m full with dry dirt and strip clubs and be a cardshark. i want to gain back everything i have lost. i want to snack on poker chips. carson nevada is a cardshark. 

my stomach is never full but almost always has five things in it at any given time. i admitted it once but i honestly love the feeling of throwing up. i’m past that part of my life now. i’m carson nevada. i own a strip club. ladies love me. 

 

and i’ll keep on going til i’m gone.