"Loneliness Is a Distinct Kind of Joke That Makes 
Me Laugh Uncontrollably" by Chris Barton


instead of applying for entry level jobs today 

 

i am going to bury myself in a bathtub full of star fruit

 

then throw slices of star fruit at your window 

 

so you see them go by like shooting star fruits

 

because this is ultimately a joke 

 

about galactic opportunity, right? 

 

just kidding 

 

 

the universe is the pause before the realization 

 

of an impractical poem 

 

 

just kidding

 

that is a Frank O’hara poem

 

 

just kidding again

 

i am an asshole 

 

 

your houseplants have come to solicit my poetry 

 

and this is epic, because my poem is shit

 

 

i feel depleted when i think about your houseplants

 

or who is watering your houseplants

 

 

or what brand of cereal you are shopping for

 

i feel dizzy and uncontrollably off-course 

 

 

i want to lick organic peanut butter from a spoon 

 

that is somehow connected to you

 

 

just kidding again

 

inevitable empty loneliness 

 

 

don’t let me interrupt 

 

i wrote this for us


"How to Cope with Insomnia" by Chris Barton
 

search for Ambien

eat pasta

lie motionless and ‘will’ yourself to sleep

listen to Phillip Glass

masturbate

drink beer

eat Greek style hemp yogurt

add peanut butter to Greek style hemp yogurt

take Benadryl

text partner, “can’t sleep”

think ruefully about your insurance company’s prescription refill policy

of Ambien

drink more

think why don’t I have a personal doctor here feeding me Ambien? 

think what if humans had tusks?

think: you’re on a date, at a restaurant, everyone has tusks

think: what if my partner has secret, hidden tusks 

that all partners have,

and i have yet to see them;

and this is a direct reflection of the level of comfort/intimacy 

in our relationship, as well as my past relationships 

with other humans?

think darkness

think haha, get fucked

think bottomless and abstract associations about waste, energy, 

and potential

until your thought process reaches a far-seeming state of inertia,

which you feel can only be crossed by lying incredibly still 

under a comforter

and closing your eyes