"Loneliness Is a Distinct Kind of Joke That Makes
Me Laugh Uncontrollably" by Chris Barton
instead of applying for entry level jobs today
i am going to bury myself in a bathtub full of star fruit
then throw slices of star fruit at your window
so you see them go by like shooting star fruits
because this is ultimately a joke
about galactic opportunity, right?
just kidding
the universe is the pause before the realization
of an impractical poem
just kidding
that is a Frank O’hara poem
just kidding again
i am an asshole
your houseplants have come to solicit my poetry
and this is epic, because my poem is shit
i feel depleted when i think about your houseplants
or who is watering your houseplants
or what brand of cereal you are shopping for
i feel dizzy and uncontrollably off-course
i want to lick organic peanut butter from a spoon
that is somehow connected to you
just kidding again
inevitable empty loneliness
don’t let me interrupt
i wrote this for us
"How to Cope with Insomnia" by Chris Barton
search for Ambien
eat pasta
lie motionless and ‘will’ yourself to sleep
listen to Phillip Glass
masturbate
drink beer
eat Greek style hemp yogurt
add peanut butter to Greek style hemp yogurt
take Benadryl
text partner, “can’t sleep”
think ruefully about your insurance company’s prescription refill policy
of Ambien
drink more
think why don’t I have a personal doctor here feeding me Ambien?
think what if humans had tusks?
think: you’re on a date, at a restaurant, everyone has tusks
think: what if my partner has secret, hidden tusks
that all partners have,
and i have yet to see them;
and this is a direct reflection of the level of comfort/intimacy
in our relationship, as well as my past relationships
with other humans?
think darkness
think haha, get fucked
think bottomless and abstract associations about waste, energy,
and potential
until your thought process reaches a far-seeming state of inertia,
which you feel can only be crossed by lying incredibly still
under a comforter
and closing your eyes