"Dear Nerd, In Regard to Your Nerd Theory" by Daniel Crocker
I can say with some confidence
that if I could choose one super power
it would be a cyber-tooth
Likely, I'd be the descendant
of Wolverine from some alternate
universe brought to Earth-616
by one of Reed Richard's crazy ass
experiments with the negative zone
Eventually, I'd come to see Logan
as a father figure and after much adjustment,
I might even join X-Force
or some lesser known group of mutants
Unfortunately, like Wolverine
I too would have a thing for redheads
My unquenchable lust for Jean Grey
would drive me to fits of insanity
At first, the old man would have my back
but after I joined the Brotherhood of
Evil Mutants, he'd feel it necessary to
hunt me down like a wild animal
Luckily for me, my tingling cyber-tooth
would give just enough warning
for me to escape back to my own world
Sure, he'd get a few good licks in
but my mild healing factor
which I'd previously used only
for hangovers and and stumped toes
would keep me alive
Once back in my own time-line
I would be turned from my evil
ways by the love of a good woman
A woman I can only assume
would be Tiffany
of Mall rock fame
So, to answer your question
I wouldn't want Omega level
powers like the Beyonder or Thanos
Dear, God, No
Look at all the pain
I wrought
with nothing
but this stupid cyber-tooth
and low self-esteem.