"A List of Failed Social Interactions" by Caitlyn Siehl

 

1.
 

Person: “Nice to meet you.”

Me: “Thanks!”
 

2.

Person: “Hey, my name’s Nancy.”
Me: “Oh my God, mine too!”

3.

I was in the doorway of a Blockbuster when a guy on a motorcycle revved his engine and I got scared and fell into a life-sized poster of Edward Cullen.


4.

I sat down and talked to a girl in my dorm for a good 15 minutes before realizing that she was on the phone and not even talking to me.


5.
 

On the bus.

Person: “Hey, is anyone sitting here?”

Me: “Yes, but not right now.”

Person: “So…I can sit here?”

Me: “What was your question?”


6.
 

Guy working at Chipotle: “Black beans or pinto beans?”

Me: “Yes.”


7.
 

I was driving home one night and singing along to “First Date” by Blink-182 with the windows down. A group of high school boys pulled up next to me and gestured for me to turn the music down. I thought they were lost and needed directions, but when I turned the music down, they just yelled, “You suck!” and drove away.
 

8.
 

I couldn’t remember which side of my car the gas tank was on. The gas attendant kept gesturing for me to turn around and pull up, but I kept getting it wrong, so I panicked and drove away while he laughed at me.