"A List of Failed Social Interactions" by Caitlyn Siehl
Person: “Nice to meet you.”
Person: “Hey, my name’s Nancy.”
Me: “Oh my God, mine too!”
I was in the doorway of a Blockbuster when a guy on a motorcycle revved his engine and I got scared and fell into a life-sized poster of Edward Cullen.
I sat down and talked to a girl in my dorm for a good 15 minutes before realizing that she was on the phone and not even talking to me.
On the bus.
Person: “Hey, is anyone sitting here?”
Me: “Yes, but not right now.”
Person: “So…I can sit here?”
Me: “What was your question?”
Guy working at Chipotle: “Black beans or pinto beans?”
I was driving home one night and singing along to “First Date” by Blink-182 with the windows down. A group of high school boys pulled up next to me and gestured for me to turn the music down. I thought they were lost and needed directions, but when I turned the music down, they just yelled, “You suck!” and drove away.
I couldn’t remember which side of my car the gas tank was on. The gas attendant kept gesturing for me to turn around and pull up, but I kept getting it wrong, so I panicked and drove away while he laughed at me.