"If I Were an Armadillo I Would Probably Die of Dehydration" by G.G. Roland

 

the plant you gave me is dying

i wish i had intentionally not watered it

because it would feel good

to do that and feel good about it

 

sometimes i wish you and everyone else were assholes

so i could say ‘fuck you’ and feel good doing so

but i can’t, so i won’t

 

is it normal to want to hate everyone you meet

preemptively, so you can feel powerful and bizarre

like you're wearing a big sieve used for draining noodles

like you're an armadillo, ready to roll up at any time