"Family Time Share" by Genevieve Kersten
I’m pretty sure my father-in-law created the “no swearing on vacation” rule just for me. Call his dog a fucking cunt one too many times and suddenly I’m the asshole. Well, maybe he should teach Roger not to stick his piss-soaked little paws in my purse.
I only swear whenever I feel like it.
He doesn’t bat an eye when the men talk about that “damn fourteenth hole” on the golf course, but he gets all offended if I mention the cocksucking biddy down the street who tried to poison us with her shitty biscuits. If he had bothered to try them he would agree that some bitches need to fuck right out of the kitchen. Old girl should spend her retirement sitting on a washing machine or some young guy’s face.
"Jash and the Turtleneck" by Genevieve Kersten
I knew a guy who said he only went to Wisconsin to get porn.
What I heard him say was he only got Wisconsin porn.
Spreadable cheeses and thick cured meats,
hushed gasp of a cracked La Croix,
and women always dressed in layers who say the name Josh, Jash.
Jash has hockey hair and smells like sweat and venison.
He makes cheese at the Cheese Castle in the Dells.
Women from every county come
for his cheese.
A hot piece
in a peach turtleneck needs help with a sharp cheddar.
Jash hands her samples, saves the best for last,
he made it special,
just for her.
The turtleneck tells Jash she wants all of his cheese in her backseat.
Literal cheese in the backseat of her Ford Focus.
When Jash and the turtleneck finally fuck,
he stares at the dead deer strapped on
the trunk of her car, blood dripping from eyes and anus.