"The Kids at My Christian School" by Hannah Gordon
don’t know about Justin Theroux
or that show
where he was left behind
but instead of being afraid
he became his own savior.
The angles of his face—
sharp as the spear
that pierced His side.
The timbre of his voice—
as hard and strong as the rock used to seal His tomb.
In just three seasons
he discovered:
it’s better
to be left behind
than taken away.
I used to be afraid
until I saw Justin
come back from the dead
and it didn’t even take
three days.
Now I imagine
a different God
one I don’t have
to fear.
All the kids
at my Christian school
know is fear
(fear and God go
hand in hand).
They only know
about those Left Behind books.
They read them
cover to cover—
enraptured.
Where will you be when Jesus returns?
they’d ask me. Do you know?
What was my answer?
Back then
when the clouds
would part & sunlight
would stream through
like honey
dripping from
a spoon
I’d wonder: is this God?
Is this Jesus coming back?
I’d race home
just to make sure
my mother was still there
right where
I left her.
I’m no longer
afraid
but my heart
aches for
who I used to be
how everything
used to converge
(all the great & mighty
& terrible things)
into one omniscient
looming God
(the Bible is a sword
after all)