"Prophet of the Punch Bowl" by Jay Passer

I did 50 jumping jacks

ate a bowl of mint chip ice cream 

read the bad news online

hit my head hard on the shower fixture


and died.


I texted my mom

up in heaven,

asked her to reserve me 

a window seat.


when I arrived

she said

Son, you look 


"The Dope" by Jay Passer

it felt good at first

then what happened was the rest of my life