"Spew" by Linzi Garcia

 

i want to say what’s on my mind but know that what’s on my mind is grungy and raw and kind of smells like a flower shop with a hint of urine. i want to know i have the power to hurt people and just hurt everyone a little bit for a little second, like a pine needle in the ass or a too-hard high five. i want to not live in a limbo of professionalism and agony artistics. i want to create and create and create and create and drink too much coffee and get sweaty and cold. i want to gnaw at the hand of inspiration and spew the chunks that fell off in my mouth. i want to read poetry in the women's restroom and climb as many buildings as i can. i want to pretend to jump off and make everyone suck the air in real quick and intense. i want to make out with a book and get pregnant by swallowing its ideas. i want to birth its baby book and burn it. i want to spread its ashes on my softest parts and let tomorrow swallow me.

 

i want to not want 

so goddamn much.