"There Are Nights I Lie" by Nathan Elias
There are nights I lie
naked in your bed, I hear the bathwater
rinse you of our make-up sex sweat, I smoke
your cigarettes, I look out your window, and I remember
a girl who loved me but moved to Boston and South Korea,
how I was too afraid to move away with her
even after she bought me a ticket both times.
You look at me with a green eye and a grey one
and I can’t believe that you’re going blind, no matter
how many times you say the doctors warn you. The heart sees
the truth even if the eyes cannot but still the night
can be my excuse to hold you and imagine what Seoul
would feel like and if it’s as cold there as it is
in your arms. I fear even the friction of our bodies
will not save us from another winter of desperation.
"Urn" by Nathan Elias
I’ve come for the ashes.
I’ve come to bury
snapdragon
seeds.
I’ve come to put to rest
a decade, dialysis.
In a North Toledo bar they serve breakfast
on Christmas and we feast
like it’s your last meal.
You always make me
promise to scatter her somewhere
beautiful. You’ve held on too
long; the time has come
to bind and release
us both.