"The Cute Med Student" by Shaun Leisher

A sterile examination room

Lying on my stomach on a cold leathery cushioned table

Jeans halfway to my ankles

I cringe and seize up as what feels like a very sharp credit card pokes and prods up my butt

I had no clue this was what it was going to be like

If I had known I would not have said it was OK for the cute med student to observe


From this moment on this woman will never see me

If we meet at a coffee house

Or a bar

Or a park

She won’t see me

Just my butthole

What if we have mutual friends?

Will she talk to our mutual friends about what my sphincter looks like?

What if we are set up on a blind date?

Will the sight of me bring back brutal memories?

Is mine the first butthole she’s ever seen?

Probably not


“Now bear down like you’re going to poop,” the doctor says

"Please" I say. "My pride has already been slaughtered. Don’t kick its carcass"

After he's done the cute med student hands me a tissue to clean myself before they leave the room

She must sense the humiliation

I wonder if she’s going to talk about this with her classmates

I probably would