"Blind Memory" by T.L. States


         A little after 2 A.M. we staggered into the Denny’s on Speedway. Fucked up, but not blacked out, I ordered the chicken tenders with barbecue sauce. Must have been, what, late 2000/early 2001? I kept my mouth shut as I pressed and rolled my tongue across the front of my teeth (always an indicator that I had a good drunk going). Where were we before Denny’s? Maybe Gotham, or DV8? What about Metro? Shit, Metro might have been shut down already. I remember Mudvayne played at Metro once, but fuck it, that doesn’t matter.

         Do you remember Gotham? It got shut down not long after Metro, after that shooting in the parking lot. We saw Sir Mix-A-Lot there. Of course, he did “Baby Got Back”, because he had to. Condemned by success to always do that song. I remember that night. I was sure I saw a girl that was in tech school at Sheppard the same time I was.


Tech School: Wichita Falls

          Yeah, I remember that girl. At the BDU club, drunk off my ass thanks to cheap vodka, and repulsed that she sang along to every word of “Last Resort” by Papa Roach. Compelled by the power of alcohol, I walked with her out to the training pad, thought for sure we would consummate our lust underneath the platform where Military Training Leaders shouted at us to mark the beginning and end of each day. Did it happen? No, for sure it didn’t. We made out, and I’m pretty sure my drunken kisses were the shit. At least, that’s what I remember, but my liquor-infused expressions of desire left me with nothing but the blurry vision of her walking away.


Back to Tucson

         Man, that Denny’s on Speedway. I remember that night, and the girl with her hair dyed blonde. Her dark roots demanded to be seen. The two colors, intertwined, fell past her shoulders and faded into her brown skin. The different shades made the most beautiful color. I wanted to crawl into that booth with her and get lost in her hair. She was immaculate, and my drunken mind was wrecked. I remember I said to you: 

         “Dude, that is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

         “Go talk to her,” you said. 

         “Nah, I wouldn’t know what to say.”

         “Don’t worry about it,” you assured me. “She’s not that hot anyway.”

         Maybe she wasn’t the most beautiful woman on earth. Maybe I was too drunk to know any better. When you said she wasn’t that hot I took your word for it, but is that even what you said? Wait a minute, was it you that I was with, or was it Will? I can’t remember. Come to think of it, maybe we were actually at the Denny’s on Broadway. Shit, I don’t know.